“All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;” 2 Corinthians 5:18

One of the more basic things that taught my children was to say, “I’m sorry”. It was always intended as an act of contrition, hoping the child would indeed recognize their wrong and hopefully not repeat the action. Without question, we should be sorrowful if our actions caused harm to someone else. It is an incredibly mature thing to acknowledge your sin and apologize. But let’s be very clear: The apology is really more for the good of the offender than for the good of the offended. I asked my children to apologize for their own sake, not so much for the sake of the sister they hurt. I recognize that receiving an apology can be a very healing event, but it is not a necessity for us to forgive. I know so often people object and say, “I won’t forgive, they haven’t even apologized yet.” Forgiveness, however, is based on your character…not on whether or not they apologize. Indeed, many people cannot apologize: they may be dead, separated from you, or even unaware of the fact they hurt you. If you always wait for someone to apologize to forgive them, you will likely seldom walk out forgiveness. So if you have been offended, hurt, or otherwise harmed…God calls you to forgive even if they don’t acknowledge their sin. Even if they do apologize, the Lord will use that more for their benefit than yours.

Apologies can be important, though. Because the ultimate goal of forgiveness must be reconciliation. However, reconciliation takes the full effort of two people. Forgiveness only requires you. When you forgive someone, it does not mean that the relationship is automatically healed. Indeed, for that to take place it will require both parties to committed to fix what has been broken. I am of the opinion, that reconciliation is always a possibility when two believers are involved. The Holy Spirit that worked to reconcile us to God can also work to reconcile us to one another. The relationship might be different afterward, but there can be healing. When you forgive someone, you are taking the first step to God’s ultimate purpose in you and the relationship.

My encouragement to you today is that you stop waiting for an apology, and go ahead and forgive. It is a step that God will empower you to live out, and it is the first step toward the possibility of reconciliation!

Blessings, 

Pastor Brian