“When they came to a place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:33-34

Muse with me about a common scene from my girl’s childhood… We would tell one of the girls they needed to apologize to their sister for some action. Upon hearing the apology, their sister would be tempted to say the common phrase: “it’s ok”. We forbid that in my house! Because what they did was not OK. Otherwise, they would not need to apologize. There was no room for “no problem” or “don’t worry about it”. The proper response I taught my kids was to say, “I forgive you”. Initially, I was surprised at how uncomfortable that made my children, but upon further reflection I think I figured it out. When we say, “I forgive you”, we are actually acknowledging that what the other person did was wrong…and in this instance, the girls were doing that to their face! It brings to light the undeniable truth, that we only need to forgive people when they have wronged us. So, the very act of forgiving is not minimizing the offense we have received, but rather we are acknowledging it…we are calling it what it was. Forgiveness might be an act of releasing a person, but in no way to we diminish that what they did was wrong. In fact, we might forgive them, but they may still have to face other consequences for what they did to us. So, when we forgive we are not saying, “it’s OK”. To the contrary, we are actually saying, “it is not ok…but we choose to forgive you anyway!”

Which leads me to one of the most common objections to forgiveness that I hear: the other person does not deserve to be forgiven. Ironically, the condition, character, or contrition of the offender really doesn’t matter that much. Truthfully, the person you need to forgive might be unable to make any rectification...possibly even dead. Which emphasizes the fact that forgiveness is about you!! The scriptures commands to forgive are never contingent upon anything the offending party may or may not do. So, whether or not they deserve forgiveness is utterly irrelevant. We are, in all circumstances, commanded by God to forgive others their trespasses. The Lord makes this command so clear because the true victim of unforgiveness is you!! When you harbor unforgiveness, it is a cancer that will eat away at your soul. It will affect your moods, influence your emotions, impact all of your relationships, and eventually leave you bitter. We don’t forgive for the sake of the other person. We forgive for our own sake! They may not deserve forgiveness, but Jesus died so that we might live with the benefit of walking in forgiveness. So if you can’t bring yourself to forgive for the sake of someone else…do it for yourself!!

So, if you are struggling to forgive please be aware that you are not being asked to minimize the offense. Actually, you are being asked to acknowledge it as the sin it was. Then, in the act of forgiveness, you are not really doing for the sake of the other person. You are doing ityou’re your own sake. Because regardless of what someone else may deserve, Jesus died so that you might deserve freedom!!

Blessings,

Pastor Brian