The Choice To Forgive

Brian Chair

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, Ephesians 1:7

All of my girls went through a similar rite of passage. They would get excited about doing something for the first time, then grow wearing (often even despising) the same thing after it grew familiar. “Daddy, can I load the dishwasher?” “Daddy, we need milk…can I drive to the store to get it?” Things that seemed so fun when they were foreign, became tedious and burdensome with familiarity. Please don’t think this is a criticism. I think it is more a description of typical human behavior. We all have a life filled with things that must be done, but we don’t necessarily like doing them. If I waited until I felt like washing dishes, I would never wash dishes! If I waited until I felt like taking out the trash, I would never take out the trash! I do these things, not because I feel like it, but because I recognize the importance of them being done.

Forgiveness is very similar. If we wait until we feel like forgiving, we will likely seldom if ever live in forgiveness. Rarely is forgiveness motivated by a feeling. To the contrary, your decision to forgive will most likely be opposed by every feeling you have. That is why I contend that forgiveness is not feeling based, it is a choice we make because we see the value of it and recognize its necessity! We do it even though our emotions may oppose us. We do it even when the circumstances make it difficult. We do it although our imaginations may come up with a litany objections. But this is not a rare thing in life. We pay our taxes even though we don’t want to. We go to the dentist even though we don’t want to. We go grocery shopping even though we don’t want to. Life is filled with stuff we choose to do, because it is necessary…even though our feelings want something else.

I know the objections that can come. Possibly, there is no greater one than “they don’t deserve my forgiveness”. It sounds so reasonable at first. However, do any of us really want to live in a world where we only get what we deserve? I find the consistent pattern of my life is that I am more likely to cry out for justice concerning other people’s failures…but I am more inclined to cry out for mercy concerning mine. Justice is a good thing, and we should all want to live in a more just world. However, I am decidedly thankful that my relationship with God is not based solely on justice. Because justice means you get what coming to you, and if you get what is coming to you it would mean Hell! The Good News of the Gospel declares that Jesus suffered the punishment I deserve, and offered me mercy instead! When we all deserved wrath, God showed us mercy instead. This is the same transaction that God requires of all of us when we forgive. Of course they don’t deserve our forgiveness…but neither did we deserve God’s.

So in the battle that forgiveness is, I encourage you to choose against your feelings, and offer the mercy that God afforded you. It may be a fight, but it is the character that God’s grace is empowering us all to live out.

Blessings,

Pastor Brian